Whose Responsibility is it Anyway?

People who play the victim game often point fingers at others as the responsible party for their current situation. I do not know how many times I have heard people say these phrases: "I never get a chance to...", "I am unhappy because they...", "I cannot have what I want", or even "I do not have a life." PLEASE - You do have a life and chances to make a difference in your own life and the lives of others. Remember this echoing phrase, "Life is what you make it." We all have the same amount of time in a day. All too often the people who say these comments blame others for not getting what they want. Sad thing is...nobody ever knew what they wanted. You are responsible for your chances, happiness, and the excitement in your life. YOU - you cannot blame others for what is in your control. The choice lies within you.


Your happiness depends on you. That's right. If you are searching outside of yourself for your happiness and saying to yourself, "I will be happy when.... I have the big house or an expensive car.", you are cheating yourself out of all you have and all you have accomplished to date. If you do not appreciate the present, when you have the things you yearned for, you will not appreciate them either as you will be yearning for something else.

Get Clear on What You Want. You can have what you want, however, many people do not get what they want because they are not always clear on what exactly it is they want or expect from themselves or others. I have seen spouses get upset about the other person fulfilling their needs or holding them back from going after what they want. The only problem is no one clearly expressed what it was they wanted; they made assumptions.

Set Your Priorities. You are the one who knows what is important to you. You need to choose and balance what you want to achieve. Let's say you are frustrated because you cannot go to the gym for one and a half hours so you do not bother going. Who is suffering? Who is responsible for your health? You are! Going to the gym or for a walk for 30 minutes is still better that you coming home to sit on the couch. Do something toward reaching your goal instead of nothing.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. You need to let people know what it is you want to achieve. This works both personally and professionally. People want to help others achieve. It makes them feel good to know that they were a contributing factor to your success. If people do not know what you want, how can they help you?

Remember You Have Choices. If you need a babysitter so you can get to the gym, connect with a responsible teenager in your area. Check and see if your gym has babysitting available. Maybe you can even swap babysitting with another mother in your area so you both can benefit. There are options to help you achieve what you want. Many businesses are formed because of the need for options and lifestyle.

Ask for Help. If your options are not working out, do not give up. Ask others for help or referrals to people they know, like, and trust. Tap into the new opportunities and options available.

Compromise and Create Win-Win. There are times when you may have to compromise to get what you want by helping others get what they want. That's a great deal. Remember you can delegate to others to help you achieve what you want. You do not have to do it all.

Go and Get It. You have to develop a take action mindset.The responsibility for achieving what you want lies in you. Think about how badly you want something. Are you willing to go the distance and do what it takes to get there? If so, go and get it!

Might be a bit of tough love but...stop blaming, complaining, or making excuses about why you have not achieved what you want. The person responsible for your life is the person looking back at you in the mirror every morning and every night. That person is - YOU!

How do you take responsibilty for achieving what you want?

Leave Your Footprint in the Sand

When your leave a footprint, you leave a reminder, an imprint to others that you were there. People buy from and surround themselves with people they know, like, and trust. How can they get to know you if you do not leave your footprint in their mind or even their heart?

People want to get to know you, so BE REAL - BE YOURSELF. They want the full meal deal - not an imposter. They were attracted to your qualities and character. When you try to be someone you are not, you rob the world of the person you are. We often think that if I just had this car or if I have more money, they would think more of me. Sadly, this is often not the case. What matters most is how you feel about you - on the inside. You may have heard the saying "Confidence is Sexy!" Confidence attracts people to you; and, confidence is empowering. People want to be around people who are energetic and have enthusiasm for life. They want to expereince what you have to offer.

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland

SHARE A PIECE OF YOURSELF. Let people sample who you are. Build relationships with others. Give the people you meet value - a referral, tip, technique, or an idea that might be benefit them. You will receive more than you may expect in return. Take time to teach others, as you have had many teachers that helped you get where you are today. List the ways you can help others and start doing some of them toda

"Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." Buddha

FOLLOW-UP WITH THE PEOPLE YOU MEET. You do not want the winds of time to bring a tide to the shore to wash away your footprint. Follow-up with  the people you meet so you are on top of their mind and your footprint etched in the sand.

“Footprints on the sands of time are not made by sitting down.”   Proverb

TAKE ACTION...TAKE THE FIRST STEP IN MAKING A DIFFERENCE

Sweeten Things Up with a Spoonful of Sugar

During my family camping trip, I read "Embrace the Struggle -Living Life on Life's Terms" by Zig Ziglar and Julie Ziglar Norman, a gift my girlfriend gave me. In this book, you will learn struggles several people have endured during life's journey but also about the faith and dedication of Zig Ziglar and his family. You see, Mr. Ziglar fell down several stairs and suffered a brain injury. His love for his family, his Redhead, and his purpose did not waiver. When you embrace your struggle, there is always one thing you can count on - God.

Everyone has their own struggle, whether it is personal, emotional, spiritual, business-related, or financial, we all struggle at one time or another.


3 lessons I learned from this inspirational book are:

1. No matter what your struggle may be - you are never alone. Family, friends, and strangers unite in prayer and support of all kinds. People want to help people.
2. When you are living your purpose, what you truly love to do, there will always be a way for you to live that purpose, it may not be the way you envisioned it to be...it may be even better than you expected.
3. Learn to accept things you cannot change and be solution focused on the things that you can change.

Someone once said to me,"It is hard to stay positive all the time." I will not argue that for some people and even myself that there are times that are more difficult to endure than others, but I know for a fact, it is much more difficult to be surrounded with negativity. Negativity is energy draining. Optimism makes me feel alive. I will share my rose coloured glasses any day.

Embrace your struggle with faith and optimism (a spoonful of sugar). Make lemonade from the lemons that come your way. Be grateful for the people who lift you up. Life can be sweet again!

"Look forward to the harvest, and remember,

where there is struggle, there is life!" - Zig Ziglar

Share how you embrace your struggle.

The Three Gifts of Time

Time is precious commodity. We cannot borrow it because once it has been spent, it cannot be returned. The passing of time also represents the becoming of who you are now and who you have yet to become. The three gifts of time are your past, present, and future.

The lessons you learn, you may not see as gifts. We all have events or situations in our lives that are pivotal or have transformed our lives into who we are. These situations and events are also a matter of perspective. I have heard from a number of different people about their life's journey and resilience from situations like abuse, being a child of a workaholic, neglect, death of a parent or spouse, and many others. I'm not saying that anyone deserved to be a product of their situation. What I am saying is these situations make who you are.

As I take some time to reflect on these three gifts, I came up with several insights and treasures.

PAST

Your past represents the beginning of your journey. It cannot be changed for it lies behind you. When you hold onto your past, it prevents you from moving forward and enjoying the present and planning for the future. Your past is a memory and a learning. It is the person you were at the time.

PRESENT

The present is the time that you're living in the moment. It can often be difficult for people to enjoy the moment because of all of the distractions in the world around them. That is why it is important to savor the moments, the feelings, and the laughter for soon it will be the past.

FUTURE

Future is what we plan and hope for. It allows us to dream. Your dream can be what you want to be, do, or have. It is the time of who you have yet to become regardless of your past and what situation or where you came from.

Cherish and embrace your PAST. Live in the PRESENT.

Dream and Plan for your FUTURE.

Who do you wish to become?

Courage Come Out to Play

Life can hand us unexpected challenges. Sometimes, we can rise up to the challenge and sometimes it feels like the darkest hour has hit. If you know someone who has overcome their challenge, you know it takes courage to move forward. Courage despite what others think is best for you. The courage to do what you think is best for you and trust that you already know what you need to do. You already have it in you.

Listen to my friend Justin Hines as he encourages - Courage!



Share how you find courage!

Back Pedalling in Your Business and Life

"Life is like riding a bicycle - in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving." ~Albert Einstein

After not competing in a triathlon in 5 years, I did it. I signed up a week in half before the race for a mini triathlon without much training as the distances were do-able. (I do not recommend this for everyone.) I knew in my mind that I really needed to train for a Sprint Triathlon (750 m Swim, 20 km Bike, 5 km Run). Even with half the distance, I could hear my internal chatter battling back and forth having quite the conversation: “Are you crazy? You know you need to train. You have done this before, you can do it! For heaven sakes, it has been 5 years. You know what it takes.”

Have you realized that little voice speaks the loudest when you are challenging yourself? It does not matter if you are doing something for the first time or you are doing it for the twentieth time. The voice inside likes to put in its 2 cents. While I was racing, I realized that, yes I did do triathlons over 5 years ago and I still had the skills to do it again. Mind you, I needed definitely to sharpen those skills but nonetheless I already had them. You, too, have many skills you may not have used for months or years but you still own them. They are part of your blueprint. When there are challenges that come up in your life, you consciously or unconsciously retrieve those skills to apply to the situation that comes up.

As I was riding up the hill, I found myself thinking,”Wow, You did amazing job several years ago!” I think I appreciated it then but not as much as I do now. Climbing the hill became difficult and I quickly tried to find the right gear. When I found the right gear, I looked at the top of the hill and then focussed on 3-4 feet ahead of me. Every three to four feet, I got closer to the top. My positive self-talk was in the highest gear. My mind back pedalled to the past...Keep going you can do it! You never forget how to ride a bike! You can do it!


When I reached the top of the hill, I felt a surge of energy rush through me. I conquered it! I continued until I completed the race. If any of you have participated in an event or have been challenged by a situation that tests your mindset, you can appreciate what it takes to reach your end result.


ACKNOWLEDGE AND APPRECIATE – Acknowledge and appreciate where you are right now and realize that where you have been has made you who you are today. You are not defined by the past but many lessons where learned that you pull into your future. You have done some pretty incredible things that you may not have full acknowledged.


BREAK THE PATTERN – Break the pattern of the internal chatter and filter out the negative from the positive. Allow the positive to replay in your mind to make you strong. When you break the pattern, you can have better control of the thoughts you allow to enter your mind.


CONQUER THE TASK AT HAND – Conquer the task at hand by seeing your end result but also focussing on what is in front of you right now. Every task or project you work on, keeps you pedalling to your destination – your end result.


Your mind is  powerful. You can accomplish many things. Sharpen it as often as you can and you will pedal into greatness!


What skills have you sharpened to move forward?

Maximize Your Opportunities